A post about something other than my depressing situation and big sin?! GASP! It can't be! Well believe it people, but I should warn you that I am going to jump around a lot, probably hit several random topics, make some grammar/spelling errors, complaints, and make awkward phrases because I'm not peer-editing this post- fair warning.
Classes at Widener start Monday and I'm not even registered... I am basically forced to go there for the rest of this school year because I was lazy and didn't apply anywhere else for spring semester. My number one was West Chester University but now, I'm starting to have second thoughts... And this is big because I was borderline obsessed with their school and told myself I would do whatever it took to get in. Obviously that failed. Now, I don't know what I want. I think I'm finally come to the realization that I can't live at college, I have to work while in school. Sure you can get a job on campus but I have a great job now that will look great on a med school application. I need a sign or something or someone to tell me what to do, give me advice, guidance, anything!
I wish college didn't cost so much... My dilemma would be SO much easier to deal with. I also wish I could re-do my college applications, where I applied, how many I applied to, scholarships, and all that good stuff. I had no idea what I was doing, had it set in my mind that I was getting into my #1 school (which I obviously didn't)and applied WAY too late. Sadly, most wishes don't come true and time travel is not real.
It's a year of sacrifices as well. One of my new years resolutions is to reach out to people more and serve more. However, I had to decline an offer to serve at my church to avoid awkwardness with someone, because I know how much this area means to a certain someone. There's always next time...
I recently signed up for Explore at my church also. I think it's time and I've been waiting a long time for that feeling. It finally feels right.
My Aunt has been having a lot of stomach pains lately and we've all been joking that she's pregnant, haha, but she's definitely not. And now she's in the hospital and it is pretty serious. (more stress!)
I still don't have my license... enough said.
Today marked the 4th time I have tried to run outside on the streets by myself. And yet, I couldn't make it out the door. Fear lingers. Most of you can guess why this is. My mom thinks it's completely reasonable and she understands but I think she's just saying that to make me feel better. I however think I'm a wuss. I know I'm strong and I have a big God with me all the time yet I still can't make it out the door and take the first few steps. Loser status.
And I refuse to see a counselor so don't try and talk me into it...
I warned you this post was random, full of complaints, stress, and awkward topics.
Bottom line is, I need prayer. A lot of it and I'd really appreciate it if you could for me. And I need to trust that God works all things together for good, because it's been proven that he does and has.
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