Whatever

I figure if you want to talk to me you will. I'm done trying to be the one who wears the pants in this relationship. I don't want to be the one that always fixes everything. I feel like I'm putting all of the effort in while you're getting a free pass. I have wanted to ask you numerous times about your trip and life and random things but have stopped myself because I know I would be feeding into what you want. I'm done being the mediator and the pathetic desperate little girl that I once was. I'm tired of being a pushover and trying so hard to make things perfect. I'm tired of trying to BE perfect because I know I'm hardly that. Most of all, I'm tired of letting people get so close to me just to crush me in an instant.
Oh, and also, I'm sick and tired of writing these posts because I know they won't change anything or even shake anything inside of you. I used to mean so much to you and now it's like I mean nothing at all.