There's still a hole in my chest, although I can't decide if it's my heart that is missing or my soul. Most of the time I think it's my heart because I don't let anyone get close enough to it to feel it beat, and then other times I am certain it is there because it aches so badly that I'm afraid it might stop working. Sometimes it feels like it has a bandage on it that is constantly being ripped off and placed back on, and other times it's a big open wound.
This semester has put me over the edge and I am maxed out on stress. I'd like to think I am getting sleep but most of the time I lie awake with my eyes unable to close and my mind unable to prove that I am worth something.
The clock mocks me throughout all of this and yet I'm still unable to care or provide myself with good reasoning that I need to stand up for myself. I look at how much everyone wants us to love ourselves but laugh at how impossible that is when we're told we're not good enough. It's exhausting.
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