Things haven't gotten better. If anything, they've gotten worse. When I say I'm alone, I don't mean for that to be a complaint- it's simply the truth. Do I like it? Of course not, but that's the way it has to be. I'm not going to pretend that I'm "okay" when I'm the farthest thing from it. That to me, is weakness. Own up to your feelings and emotions. Unless you have no feelings and you're the cold hearted little boy I begged you not to turn into. Which seems to be the case.
I'm sorry for the fighting, I'm sorry for reading into things way to much, I am a girl but that shouldn't be an excuse. I'm sorry for the names I called you and the times where I annoyed you, which apparently was all the time. I'm sorry for doubting you and for the times when I argued with you. I'm sorry for not pointing you more to Christ so we might not have gotten to this point. I'm sorry for all the gas you wasted on driving me around. All the times I got mad when you didn't invite me places- I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the times where you brought me places out of guilt. I'm sorry for getting jealous of other girls and texts between you. I'm sorry I was the one person who made you the most mad and stressed out. I'm sorry I didn't care for you or love you enough. I'm sorry for calling you to pick me up when I thought my face was cut off. I'm sorry for the times I let you down.
But most of all, I'm sorry I somehow gave you permission to take advantage of me, to lie to me about our entire friendship, to disappear as if the last five years (last year in particular) never even happened.
If people think I didn't feel good enough before, they've got another thing coming. Call me ridiculous call me dramatic, but at least I have feelings, a heart and a soul that is trying to mend.
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