Falling to Pieces...

I woke up this morning and got ready for school and came downstairs to find that my dog suzie had eaten the string, (they're like bows) on my moccassins, great day to start out. MLIA. And then I get into the car and my mom told me to rub my blush in because i apparently had a line from it. Now she tells me to do this like everytime we got out somewhere, and it is getting on my nerves a lot. You would think that i notice because i do my makeup in the morning and i didn't see a line. Everytime she tells me to rub it in and it really cocky about it... And she started yelling at me because i apprently didn't rub it in enough, really mom? cool. So i shut the door of the car as i went into school and neither of us said a word to eachother.
And everytime i come home from school we email periodically until she gets home, usually about random stuff like what are you doing? whats for dinner? things like that. But this time she asked me if I got her text, so i got up and looked at the text that read something along the lines of," you're disrespect towards me is unaaceptable, no computer, phone or ipod this weekend." Then i sent her an email back apologizing about my attitude and how i get annoyed when she tells me that. And she said that we would talk about it tonight.

I went to the Amosland bingo night at my elementary school (: with my friend Jaclyn, and when i got home she's in bed asleep. And this is only at like 9:15 maybe. But she has been feeling sick so i'll give her that.
I am just sick of being in fights with my mom and they are never resolved. Things are always brushed off and acted as if it never even happened. And I think that is part of the reason that we fight so much. Shes almost all that I have, I mean i have my grandparents but they're not the best and thats a whole nother story to tell. I'm just unhappy and upset. Really the only thing cheering me up is my friends.

It's like things are slowly crumbling but you can't tell. There is just something that makes you think that and then your mind just starts to wonder about everything in your life and how many things are wrong with it and you wish they weren't and you still have faith that God will keep your head above the water because you gave yourself to him. It's like waiting for something that you have wanted for a long time but then you get it and it's not as good as you thought it would be or as good as you wanted it to be.
i just feel stuck and im trying so hard to get out but i can't; and thats why

i'm falling to pieces.

love, abby