Well it's been a long time since i last wrote, and the reasoning being that i had no desire to. i mean i always was thinking of good ideas that i could fit into a blog but never got around to doing it. I was so unmotivated and my thoughts on my life were that my life sucks.
It felt like my life was crumbling beneath me and i was doing something wrong. my family and i fight a lot and it's not pretty. especially with my mom. not having a dad takes a lot away from you. we live with my grandparents and when someone asks, i always say,"oh my grandparents live with me." even though it's the other way around. my mom and i fight often but what can i say we're eachothers best friend.
I wasn't doing well in school except for the easy classes. and i was paying for it. i was never focused and i was always tired, never motivated and very unhappy. i can honestly say that i am still unhappy but im doing better. it's hard feeling alone and like no one understands you. The last fight my mom and i had was ugly. it was about a snowboarding trip and she was being unreasonable in my point of view, though i didn't go i was pretty mad. the whole 35 or so minute ride home we didn't speak except for a brief 5 minute yelling period between us, then i was dropped off at home, and i was alone. i sat on the couch and i cried and cried and cried. it felt like she didn't care and i was trapped. i often do feel trapped. when seh got home she apologized and i accepted. it didn't change anything that i felt. before i went to bed i cried for a while and didn't get to sleep until maybe 2am.
No one knows what life is like for me, but don't get me wrong im not trying to get a guilt trip or find pity in myself. it's just not normal the way things have been going, and frankly it's freaking sucks. i am never home on the weekends always out with my friends and i never spend time with my school friends either. it's like i am in a world of my own but i didn't design it, someone else did and they made it miserable.
it's just not going well. although it's a whole lot better than it was...
love. abby
Hey, it's awesome how honest you are. Like i feel the same way alot of times. Me and my mom don't get along very much.... fighting alot. it seems like she never wants me to do ANYTHING.... yah so i feel ya. :) love ya girl!!
ReplyDeletewow thats really honest yea i fight with my mom mostly at the homeschool table! well i will be definally be praying for you!! abby= josh's bff
ReplyDeletethanks guys (:
ReplyDeletehahah josh