I am sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'm not exactly sure why I haven't been. I think about posting and type out little blurbs of ideas but never get around to meshing it all together and posting. Most of the time it's either 2am or 3am when I get to sleep and by that time all I want to do is sleep. Speaking of sleep... I think I have officially diagnosed myself as an insomniac. Just kidding, but I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere close to it. I'm not sure when my mind became so wander-y but it doesn't seem to want to let me rest.
I guess I'm not really sure how to explain how I've been doing the last couple of weeks either. I went to visit my family in Texas for a week and it was an incredibly nice break and a huge blessing. The trip gave me a new perspective and ideas for a new adventure which I'll share a little bit later on. I guess I have realized that happiness is a mood rather than a destination. I would be lying if I said I haven't been happy at times in the last few months, I definitely have been, but I don't really see any change in myself as far as picking myself up off the ground goes.
I still feel incredibly and hopelessly lost. Like everyone else is moving and I'm standing still unsure of where to go next. I feel as if my life has almost stopped and everyone else's is moving on forward. I have prayed more times than I could possibly count for God to reveal his plan through this...mess, but so far I've come up empty handed. Empty is kinda my word of the (day) last few months. Maybe I have become emotionless or maybe I have stopped treading water and sunk to the bottom. Whatever it may be, I know that it's not where I want to be.
Where do I want to be, you might ask? Well that's easy, you should all be able to guess the answer to that one.
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