Guess What?

I think it's time I let you in on a little secret. I didn't get a single A in a class this semester. Two B's. One in French, which is understandable, the other in English, which I didn't submit the final in, oops. The other grades? I failed Biology, and got a D in Chemistry. Safe to say, this was my worst semester. So to all the people who told me to take the semester off in mid December.... You were right.

Did you know I got an A or better in almost every single class in High School? I like science. And I'm going to be a Doctor. The problem is, I don't have a single professor on my side or one who believes in me and that I can come back from this. I let my cumulative GPA fall below a 3.0 this semester and now I have a meeting with my advisor and the chair of the Biology department tomorrow. Hope I don't get kicked out? You see the thing is, I don't really care if I do. I'm tired of having to explain what I went through and am still going through which is causing me to struggle academically to get people to believe in me.

I used to have someone who did, one person, or who I thought did. Now, I'm not so sure. But he's gone now. And so is everyone else. I don't want to sound needy or like an attention seeker because I'm not. I already know I suck at life and being a girl. It's nothing new. It was just nice to have someone believe in me and be there for me no matter what. I guess that's kind of counter-intuitive because you're not here, so "no matter what" was just a phrase to be spoken.

So you can probably guess that things suck. And they have for a while. To everyone hoping that this all blows over and I am back to my normal me, it's not going to happen. And it's not helping just sitting back wishing this was just a dream.
Because trust me, I wish that too.